It’s been such an interesting journey coming into this work from a young age - the way it’s grown me, shaped me, deepened me, yes - but also the way people have sometimes assumed what I do or don’t know because of my age.
A friend yesterday said, "You must get undermined a lot because you look so young." And honestly, it’s true. Even now, approaching 30, I still have such a cheeky, spritely look about me and somehow, this makes the gap between how I’m perceived and what I actually hold feel even more pronounced.
There’s this strange dissonance between the experience I have - nearly eight years of teaching, supporting hundreds of people across the world- and the way people sometimes perceive me, often like I’m still just starting out.
A person who came to one of my sexuality circles the other day who expressed some upset because the circle "wasn't a neo-tantric touch space" (those of you who know me may giggle at the idea that I'd ever use these descriptors). And in her upset, her go-to was to patronise me, saying she "saw what I was trying to do" for the youth, but that her generation just wanted to "get on with it."
I mean... so much to say about that 😅
But it made me reflect - what an interesting thing, carrying wisdom and experience alongside a face that people read as fresh and new. Of course, there are limitless experiences to have and endless things to learn as I walk this path. A beginner’s mindset reminds me that it’s all an illusion to think I know anything at all... if you know, you know 😉
Anyone who works in the field of sexuality, conscious relating and embodiment knows that projection happens onto facilitators all the time - and age just adds another layer to that.
But if there’s one thing this path has taught me, it’s that real knowing isn’t something you can measure in years, appearances or even how many courses you've taken - but actually lies in integrity. And how in integrity each practitioner is with what they're offering (that’s a whole other post!).
Some people come into this world skilled at maths, science or building things. I think I was brought into this world with an understanding of relationships - this ability to see clearly into the dynamics of connection, to understand how we relate to each other and the world around us, and what that all means at this time on Earth.
And to be honest, when I look back at my life, this is something that has always been there.
I think it was partly developed from early childhood experiences—being the mediator, the diffuser, needing to build solid interpersonal skills for safety. But my natural inclination toward this field of learning feels like something way beyond just this lifetime.
Even when I started doing this work at 21-22, people would often stop me mid-conversation and say, "Wait… how do you even know this?!"—and I'd think... good bloody question 😂 How have I gathered this information and wisdom without actively seeking it out?
And I’d have this strange, undeniable feeling - these weren’t just things I had learned in this lifetime, but things I was remembering.
It was humbling and good for my ego as I grew because it made me realise - this isn’t just about me, as Ria the individual practitioner. This is something much bigger, something moving through me.
The more I’ve walked this path, the more I’ve felt this deep-rooted knowing: I can’t have accrued all this wisdom from this lifetime alone. And I really believe that.
And it makes me wonder... Have I lived lives before this one where I was also doing this work? Sharing wisdom on the nature of human connection in temples? In villages? Guiding others out of the shadows of fear, shame, and embarrassment around their bodies and desires, into embodiment and truth?
Something in me says yes.
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